Wow, it has already been two weeks since I traveled
overseas to Nicaragua and I must say that I still don’t want to be here. Still in shock that I went for a third time, and still grateful for the opportunity. If you follow my blog, you would’ve seen in my last post that my car was stolen. I wasn’t even supposed to go to Nicaragua. I was supposed to be here, in America, working on stacking paper for my new vehicle.
The week before my anticipated departure, I had decided not to attend the Missions Trip with my sister. I was slightly devastated, though, I would dare not show it. Not only did my vehicle get stolen, but my passport was in the vehicle. Did I mention I still owed around $700 on my trip around this time as well? During this week, I had made the decision to sit the trip out for two main reasons: The fact that I needed to use that $700 on a new vehicle and the fact that I had no passport to get me out the country. Little did I know, God had a different plan. A plan to keep me. A plan to show his sovereignty. A plan to blow my mind, and a plan to prosper my spirit.
Even after this crisis, I still was preparing to go. I had made an appointment at the US. Passport place in Washington, DC and all. After realizing that it wasn’t smart for me to go without any plan of purchasing a vehicle, I decided last minute that I would not go. Like I mentioned above, it was the week prior. I was so angry with God. Angry that he would allow this happen after trying so hard to serve him and listen for his voice. To be honest, I went home and screamed at God, angry that he wouldn’t protect me from this situation. I felt like I was stripped from the security I once worked so hard to have. Having to ask for rides, not being able to get to where I needed, and depending on people was tough. I was broken, I was upset, and I needed him to show me his face. Like immediately. So that’s what I asked of him. For him to show me his face and let me know that this journey was not in vein; and he did just that.
When I made the decision to let the coordinator know that I would not be attending, she called me in a panic. I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to face the music. Keep in mind, the trip was 10 days away, I still owed $700, and I still didn’t have a passport. Do you know she sent me a text message saying someone anonymously paid for the rest of my trip? I praised God now and knew my relationship with him was not fake. I yelled at him, asking him to show me what’s good and he did just that. Please don’t get me wrong, you can’t yell at God to make him do what you want. But you can let him know how you’re feeling and be honest about it. The very last moment, he came in and showed me his face. I could go to DC and obtain a passport, and a week later I was in Nicaragua.
For the person out there facing hardship, know that your journey is not in vein. Have a real conversation with God and let him know that you are tired and weary on this track. It’s okay to need help, and it’s OK to call on him. God will most often talk to us in brokenness because we can be too bigheaded to listen while things are going good. Unfortunately, that’s my life. He must break me completely down for me to listen to his voice (I’m working on it). This post is not to brag or even give you a recap of my trip (because I know you could care less), but its more so to let you know that YOUR YES, will always be YOUR YES. NO matter what the world throws against you; Keep fighting, keep praying, and keep believing. Your purpose will always find you if you continue to chase what YOU KNOW is yours. Yell at God, tell him your truths, and work hard. NO matter what way you find him, don’t give up. Enjoy the photos of my YES and realize that your YES is coming or just waiting on you to grow into receiving it.