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It’s not you, it’s us. | Women think guys aren’t sh*t.

November 16, 2017


Are they wrong?


Let’s address this narrative and why it may or may not be true. I’ve had countless conversations with women and sadly, their view regarding men are tampered. Unfortunately, it was one thing they all had in common: they chose to deal with boys instead of men. Due to this lack of distinction, they were left feeling played and I have an issue with that. My hope is to help each party involved reclaim a little dignity while reassessing the way we move as a generation.


Though I am writing this post, I too was once a boy; Angry with a boat-load of baggage, spiteful, vindictive, and kept record of every single wrong.  I even felt like I deserved accolades for simple things such as an apartment, car, or career. A lame in every aspect. For a lot of us it simply takes time, failing, and more failing before we begin to assess the game. In efforts to empower my ladies, I’ve decided to go over a few things that will help you choose wisely from the men’s ministry. There are two types of males: the boy/pretend man and then the actual man. Let’s begin with boys; Im talking about the ones that leave you on read, ask you to go dutch on everything, has never held a door for you in his life, and still needs consistent ego stroking. Let’s rewind it back to Psyc 101 where we’re taught that men actually mature much slower than women. I remind you of this theory because a lot of things we should be doing, we aren’t mentally capable of just yet. Granted, a lot of things play into this development given his culture, background, and faith. Never take us for potential, you’ll be easily disappointed.


Ladies, you will quickly realize that boys try and spit the most game while men are intentional about executing the things that will make his woman happy. Understand this next statement may slightly sting: But please stop clocking in for a job you weren’t hired to do as of yet. A man will be intentional about letting you know where the relationship is headed while being consistent with his decision. Often times I see women getting involved with a boy while trying to push him to become a man. Let it happen in God’s timing, you can barely read analog time sis. Please understand that it’s okay to move on if he isn’t running as fast as you. A man will help carry you to the finish line as you encourage him to keep going.


 Often times, I see personalities go sour after a relationship due to experienced hurt. As young people I believe we need to learn the difference between talking, dating, and courting. We tend to jump head first into a relationship and expect things to be great. Keep it traditional for the first few months. Go on dates, set meetup times, and even have him pick you up. Now don’t get me wrong, just because a guy does all these things doesn’t make him a man. Have a sense of expectancy as a woman and know that some things are just foundational. Never let a man make you feel like you have to praise him because he does the simple things like pay for dinner, open doors, or be nice to your friends and family. That’s expected. Like I said, boys take time to develop into men. This foundation may not be there as of yet, but that also does not mean you have to stay.


He isn’t a terrible person for developing differently than you, and you aren’t a quitter for moving at a different pace. Remember the innocence that comes with dating and getting to know someone. A man will be open about his flaws in efforts to give you choice while a boy will hide his imperfections to save face, which ultimately causes the feeling of deceit. So to transition out of this post, I’ll leave you with the best piece of advice. A man will hunt you down, and a boy will run a way. A boy sometimes can become a man, but that’s when you can choose to leave or stay.

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